What is Love?

Love. At some point in our lives we all deal with the idea of love. What is Love? Am I really in Love? How should I feel if I’m in Love? These are all questions that we have all probably thought about. Now, I like to think that I know what love is. I say it to my parents almost everyday, I say it to my sister whenever I see her, and I’ve even said it to a few boyfriends before. But do I really know what love is? The first time I ever said I love you to someone I wasn’t related to was in the 8th grade (so one year before American high school), so I was 13. Back then I thought I was in love, I said it to my “boyfriend” who I had never gone on a date with, and who I only talked to over text (we were VERY awkward in person). Back then I thought love was liking someone just a little bit more than everyone else. Well it turns out that was not love, he dumped me a week later and I think we both agreed that whatever we had been doing was pointless. The next time that I said I love you to a “boyfriend” was a few months after the first time, and I think I even knew then that it wasn’t love, our relationship was basically the same as my first one, and if the first wasn’t love then the second was definitely not love. The third time I said it, I actually think I was in love at the time, I always wanted to spend my time with the guy, we would joke around and laugh, and I loved it. However, looking back, I think that I loved how the guy made me feel, not the guy. That first Freshman relationship was all because I had so many insecurities that I needed someone else to make me feel better. The next relationship that I was in we both said it a lot, looking back, I know that I originally loved the guy I was with, he made me laugh, he made me want to spend more time with him, and he helped me love myself first. After the relationship I felt better, I felt free, my best friend even pointed out to me that I was doing better with my depression and that I enjoyed more things than I had when I was in the relationship. Her words got me thinking, had I been in love with him? Why did I feel so much more free and open without this person that I thought I loved? After a couple weeks I figured it out, I had originally loved him but, as time went by, I fell out of love and I had just said it whenever he did, I tried to stop spending time with him and tried to ignore him as much as possible. Is that love? Wanting to be away from someone who is such a fixture in your life? That doesn’t seem like love to me, so overall, I think that love for me hasn’t really happened yet, but I guess we’ll see as my life continues.

What is Love?

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